Am I Headed for Divorce?
How do I know a divorce is likely in my future? There are many signs, some known ahead of time and some that come as horrible surprises, to indicate the likelihood a divorce will happen. Here are 6 of these reasons:
- You have been served with divorce papers and now have 20 days to answer the petition for dissolution of marriage, the term used in most states for “divorce”.
- You are certain there has been infidelity. This certainty can come from situations including finding your spouse in bed with another, frequent late nights which turn out to be lied about, bank accounts and credit cards are depleted and proof of improper use on another person is found, and/or tell tale signs such as lipstick on a collar, phone calls from an unknown person looking for your spouse, or strange earring or sock left in the marital bed.
- Constant bickering and arguing over an extended period of time with little or no resolution of the problems surrounding disputed issues.
- Lack of communication, especially if one of the parties basically refuses to talk or respond to interpersonal concerns or issues involving the marriage.
- Serious physical or emotional abuse.
- A couple simply grows apart in their interests and the light of romance goes out.
Divorce is not something a couple anticipates at the point of saying their wedding vows. However, in the United States, the divorce rate hovers around 50% for first time marriages, and much higher for second marriages and beyond. The fairly recent phenomena of gray marriages, those marriages, usually long term, of people over 55 ending in divorce has rocked the term “happily ever after”. In these cases, once children are grown and on their own, a surprising number of couples who say they haven’t been compatible for years and have stayed together “just for the children” seek dissolution of their marriage. As our society, for the most part, no longer condemns divorce, couples feel free to call it quits for any of the above reasons. While marriage counseling can help, most couples “just want out”. If you think you are heading for a divorce, read the next blog which will give you tips on “How to Strategically Plan for a Divorce”.