Hold Them or Fold Them, When is it Time For a Divorce?
“Until death do us part”, recited for many years by most couples that are seeking wedded bliss. And, at the time of the ceremony each party (there are sometimes exceptions) sincerely believes he or she will be able to honor this statement, as surely their love will stand the test of time. Unfortunately, if you live in the United States your chance of “happily ever after” has barely a 50% chance of making it even l0 years. And, in the case of a second or more marriage the percentage rate of failure is even higher. In the world of Family Law many attorneys deal on a daily basis with at least one case of divorce (dissolution of marriage as it is termed in the state of Florida) every working day of the year. Is there anything a caring attorney can do to help a couple “think things over”, especially when there seem to be reasons a divorce could be avoided?
In deciding whether to counsel a client on trying to save their marriage, an attorney will take an in depth look at the dynamics of a couple’s relationship. Some of the reasons to decide the marriage is truly over and it is time for it to end include:
- An obvious and easily proven case of adultery for either party. This is especially true if a party has had numerous affairs over an extended period of time and there is not remorse or desire to change for the guilty person.
- Either party seriously wants to marry another party and has absolutely no reason to want the existing marriage to work.
- One or the other spouse has abandoned the other with no thought of returning and sometimes not even letting the remaining spouse know where they are. The courts have ways to handle this situation so the remaining spouse is able to get a divorce and move on with their life.
- A spouse has decided to definitely change their sexual orientation.
- There have been adjudicated actions involving domestic violence to either the spouse or children or both.
- A spouse is in jail or prison and is not interested in rehabilitation.
- A spouse has grossly mishandled the families monies and may even have stolen and/or sold items belonging solely to their spouse such as a family heirloom or valuable jewelry.
- Especially in long term marriages, those over 25 years, there simply is no longer any desire to remain together. The couple has grown apart in many ways and don’t enjoy being together. And, in most cases there are continual disagreements, bickering, name calling, and sleeping in separate beds for years.
- One or the other spouse is just plain mean. He or she is constantly putting the other spouse down, often in front of other people, and making life miserable for their spouse.
- Emotional abandonment can often be as cruel as a physical abandonment. When either party “checks out” of the marriage or simply refuses to meaningfully communicate or emotionally interact by refusing to discuss or try in any way to solve problems or differences in opinion there is little hope for a loving relationship.
- In addictions of long standing such as drug use, including alcohol, gambling, excessive spending, and/or eating disorders, the spouse trying to live with the “fallout” from their addicted spouse who refuses to accept the problem and/or do anything about it, finds he or she can no longer remain in the marriage.
- When their children are grown many couples find there is nothing left to keep them together and want to make a new start, often in opposite directions.
While the above list seems daunting, there are times when a couple will benefit from input from their Family Law attorney. Too, an attorney can recommend marriage counseling for at least several months before agreeing to take a case if it appears the couple has a chance of staying together. Attorney Grant Gisondo who practices in Palm Beach Gardens and serves Palm Beach, Martin, St. Lucie, Miami-Dade, Broward, Orange, and Hillsborough counties as well as Washington DC and New York believes in marriage and will work with each client in a caring and personal way. He willingly helps clients take a close look at the decisions they are about to make and counsels them to make wise choices. For a free, initial, in-office consultation where Attorney Grant will meet with you personally call (561) 530-4568 to make an appointment. His office hours are 9:00 am to 5:00 pm Monday through Friday and for new clients, 8:30 am to 1:00 pm on Saturdays.