How to Prepare for When the Divorce is Over
Divorce, or dissolution of marriage as it is termed in modern times, is never an easy or pleasant experience. In most cases, life, as it has been, will be disrupted and changed. Both parties, whether either wants the divorce or not, will be faced with a different way of doing things during the proceedings and even more so once the divorce is over. Fortunately, even in the best of circumstances, a divorce takes time to become final and thus allows a person time to prepare for what lies ahead. While no one wants to plan a future with so much disruption, it is essential to do so, so life can continue in a way that makes sense financially, emotionally, and if minor children are involved, in the best interests of the child.
Financially: For many people, this is the area of life most affected by a divorce. Even in marriages where there has been plenty of financial security, there will be cause to take a good look at how each party will sustain or replace the lifestyle they are used to. Often, and it is usually the woman, the lifestyle enjoyed during the marriage will need to change in order to live in such a manner as to be able to pay the bills. Here is where having an attorney experienced in winning substantial financial awards following a divorce in areas such as alimony, business ventures, payment of attorney fees, and meaningful equitable distribution of marital assets, including real property, can be of benefit. While a party cannot know for sure the final outcome of their divorce, he or she can be realistic about the possibilities from a legal point of view and thus begin to plan his or her post-divorce financial future. Taking an in-depth analysis of the cost of living versus anticipated income will give some idea of how finances might work following the divorce. Seek the advice of a professional financial planner. Once a party has a rough idea of their future, he or she needs to be realistic and consider ways to cut back on expenses, which might mean moving to a less expensive living arrangement. Such costs as vehicles, vacations, unnecessary purchases, and eating out, all need to be looked at and likely adjusted to a more realistic level. If possible, paying debts in full before the divorce will also help make future bill paying easier.
Emotional: No matter if a person desires a divorce or not, there is an emotional toll to pay. There was once love, trust, and respect, and now this is gone. This is especially true when there has been cheating whether with another person, financially or in the fulfilling of promises made to the other person. For some people, the emotional upset of going through a divorce and the time following the divorce can be almost life-threatening. Family and friends will often give helpful support, but sometimes that is not enough. Taking pills or using alcohol to deaden the emotional impact is dangerous. It is much better to seek out professional help through a marital, family, or personal counselor. Religious leaders can also be helpful as long as he or she does not use punishment as the reason for the cause of emotional pain.
Children: No matter how amicable divorce is handled, when there are children, especially minor children, there will be concerns for life after the family is no longer a unit. Honesty and transparency are essential when answering a child’s questions, but it is best to consider the child’s age and emotional state before deciding how much information to give. Both parents should agree on what to tell their children and be willing to consistently reassure their children that they are loved and will continue to be nurtured and loved by both parents following the divorce. Many states now have shared parenting in the form of equal time-sharing which allows both parents equal quality time with and decision making for their minor children. If a child seems unduly disturbed by thoughts of divorce, there are excellent counselors trained specifically for helping children. And, probably the best things parents can do is not put their children in the middle of adult concerns, not openly blame either parent, keep arguments away from children, and affirm the love of each parent for their child.
Life after divorce is never easy, and there are often questions that will need answering by a Family Law attorney in your residential state. If you live in Palm Beach, Martin, St. Lucie, Miami-Dade, Broward, Orange, or Hillsborough counties in Florida or New York or Washington DC, Attorney Grant Gisondowith over 10 years’ experience in Family Law can help. He offers a free, initial, in-office consultation to answer questions and share his insights. You can call (561) 530-4568 for an appointment. His office hours are Monday through Friday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM and on Saturdays, for new clients, from 8:30 AM to 1:00 PM.